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Top Ten things That Sound Dirty In Law But R Not--

10. Have you looked at her briefs?

9. He is one hard judge.

8. Can you get him to drop his suit?

7. Counselor, let's do it in Chambers.

6. Is it a penal offense?

5. Her attorney withdrew at the last minute.

4. Better leave the handcuffs on.

3. The judge gave her the stiffest one he could

2. For $200 an hour, she better be good.

and the #1 thing that sounds dirty in law, but is not--

1. Think you can get me off?


Top Ten changes to accommodate 76 year old John Glenn's return to space aboard the Shuttle Discovery:

10. All critical devices now operated by the clapper.

9. Shuttle's thermostat will be set @ 800.

8. Shuffle Board installed in Cargo Bay.

7. "Early Bird" Specials included on the menu.

6. One monitor specifically designated for "Matlock" reruns

5. Little bowls of candy will be scattered throughout the space-craft

4. Top speed of the Shuttle will be 25 MPH.

3. New bifocal windshield installed.

2. Space pants now go up to armpits.

1. Left turn signal blinker will be left on for the entire mission.